Menu Plan – Two Weeks

Things have been very busy here lately. I did not plan out a month’s worth of meals (even though I probably should have) because things keep changing daily. We did a lot of yard work and gardening this weekend, and we have several evenings of activities over the next two weeks for church, family, and work. So, I planned out two weeks of meals for now. I hope to plan out all June’s meals before next Friday, when I do my big grocery trip again. Life is so much easier when I do a whole month. Even if I am not actually buying all the foods at one time, I find it easier to just plan out the meals and purchase it during my two big grocery trips during the month.


English Muffins x 3, fruit

Waffles x 3, fruit

Cereal (yes! I bought some!) x 3, fruit

Eggs x 3, fruit

Coffee cake x 2, fruit


Leftovers x 6

PB & J x 4

Quesadillas x 2

Buttered Noodles x 1

Out of town


Lasagna Rollups

Sloppy Joes

Chicken Manicotti

Mac and Cheese

Smoky Chicken Cassoulet Over Rice

Shredded Pork Tacos

Cuban Black Beans and Rice

Mexican Style Rice and Cheese

Southwest Stuffed Peppers


Pasta Bake

Chicken Noodle Casserole

Pizza x 2

A few snacks I would like to make (and hope I have time to be in the kitchen for) are:

No Bake Cookies

S’Mores Bars (totally unhealthy but they looked SO good)

Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars

Homemade Trail Mix (kid-friendly…for those kids who don’t like nuts or are too small for nuts)

Happy Eating! :)

Reading, Reading and More Reading!


(Lily and her stack of library selections. She LOVES to read!)

I posted before about how we have changed how we “do school.” We moved to a more relaxed approach, a lot like the Charlotte Mason method. More nature-focused in our area of science (LOTS of hikes and nature walks in the past few weeks…love it!), more relaxed with worksheets (almost none now), and more group reading.

I am enjoying it so much . There is still the need to plan things out, even more than before because things are based around literature and nature quite a bit more…so I can’t just wing it with a book off the shelf. I have to find the classic literature at the library. I do a lot of researching at home on the computer to see if our library carries certain books (and at which location – our library has two locations, one is a few minutes away and the other is several minutes more away) and then plan a trip to get them, usually with all the children….which isn’t that exciting, when I really want to take my time in the adult section and the kids are speaking rather loudly about boogers or having to go potty. :) BUT, I like that they go into the adult section with me and see that there are books for them there, and they don’t have to be confined to the “little kid” section of books. I am pretty impressed with our library, as I have only come across one or two books they did not have (and probably because they were more curriculum-type books).

We finished reading Five Little Peppers and How They Grew last week, finally. I took several days off from it, as we were hiking quite a bit and being away from the house for half a day made me behind on housework. But, we have finished it now and are excited to find our next group read. Lily finished Trumpet of the Swan, and Iris finished Swiss Family Robinson. They both enjoyed their books, so I want to make sure I keep choosing interesting and exciting stories for them to read. I think for our next group read I will choose Mr. Popper’s Penguins. We started it once, a couple of years ago, but never finished.

Right now, Iris and Lily are both reading Mary Pope Osborne’s Tales from the Odyssey Book One: The One-Eyed Giant. Mary Pope Osborne is the author of the Magic Tree House series, that my girls love, so I hope they enjoy her easier-to-read version of Odyssey. I have come to the understanding that if children read simpler versions of the more difficult classics, they will be more likely to attempt reading the originals when they are older. I never read Homer’s Odyssey (well, not the whole thing. I started it in high school but then quit because it was over my head.), but I do wish I had read more meaty books and stories when I was younger. I was/am a good reader, but I wish I had more literature knowledge. I plan to read the Tales from the Odyssey books with the girls (not aloud, just read the books on my own as they are reading them), so we can discuss them together.

Iris, Lily and I also just finished A Midsummer Night’s Dream (from the Tales from Shakespeare books). I actually really enjoy Shakespeare, and I did read a lot of his works when I was younger. I am happy to have found this Tales from Shakespeare series because the stories are true to the originals, but they are written in modern-day English for children. The characters are all the same and the plot is the same. I read it aloud to Iris and Lily, and we all really got into it. I would read an Act, then they would ask me to keep going. We finished it in three days, even though I had planned to stretch it out over a week or two. Haha! It really caught their attention, and they loved the fairy magic and the silliness of the spell/curse. Lily has asked that we read Macbeth next, and Iris would like Romeo and Juliet. I think our library has both in that series, so we will probably read them both. :)

I really love that my girls like to read…a lot. Lily will check out 3 novels at a time and read them in a week or two. She reads fast and really gets into her stories. I can call her name a dozen times, and she is so engrossed in the book she doesn’t hear me…at all. Every time I turn around she is reading. And I love it!

Iris has really blossomed into a great reader. She still rushed through her writing and spelling….misspelling common words, but she reads perfectly and well beyond her grade level. My focus on her now is the writing and spelling portion. She doesn’t want to slow down and take her time spelling things or writing neatly. She would rather rush through it to go play or read.

Addy has recently shown a huge interest in reading, too. I am hoping it is because we are reading more as a group, but regardless of why I am happy to see her learning. She read a few beginner reader books to me this morning, and we discussed some phonics rules (not in great detail, more like “see when the ‘o’ is followed by a consonant and then an ‘e’? it makes the ‘o’ say its name and we don’t hear the ‘e’.” we’ll get to the meat of the rules down the road; I just want her to recognize the long vowels when they appear a certain way in words.)

I just finished reading The Well-Trained Mind….again. I think I have read it 3 or 4 times since we started homeschooling. The first time or two I read it was when we first started homeschooling, and I just brushed off the ideas presented in it. It is all about the Classical Education method. While I love the ideas, I never really applied any of them because I thought you HAD to be a part of a classical education co-op in order to really do it. I love the Classical Conversations curriculum that I have looked over, but we have never been able to afford up front all the costs for sending our girls (and then soon, our boys would be old enough for it, too). So, I would read the book and just put the ideas on the back burner.

When I finally decided to go the Charlotte Mason route, I decided to read The Well-Trained Mind again. No, they are not the same education method. They are, in fact, pretty different. BUT, I love the steps and ideas from both methods. While I love getting back to classic literature for learning a lot of the reading, writing and spelling…I also love the repetition of the Classical method. Every four years you revisit the same things, just more in-depth as you move from early elementary into the middle grades and then even more in-depth the final time you visit the ideas and information in high school. The one thing they do have very much in common is the classical literature idea. They believe in reading (and having children read) classical literature, rather than a lot of the literature that is out there today. Yes, my girls still love to read the Dork Diaries series (not my favorite, but they whiz through them), but I love that they are also reading the classics. There is so much more to the classic literature – the way they are written, the words they use, and the morals of the stories. The “easier” versions we read of Shakespeare and Homer still have ‘big’ words and still have the same plot. They still also teach the same moral, often a more mature moral than what books and movies of today teach our kids. And I love that the kids are being introduced to difficult words and tough-to-pronounce names. :)

Time to wrap this up and go do our group reading time! Next time, I will post about how we are doing our spelling and grammar and writing. I am not 100% following the Charlotte Mason approach in those areas. I follow more of the Classical approach. But, it is still more relaxed than it used to be. We just have a ton more notebooks to keep track of our progress and assignments.

Do any of you follow the Charlotte Mason or Classical Education approaches/methods?? Are you loving the reading as much as we are?? Any suggestions for an AWESOME group reading selection (we have quite a range in ages, with my boys being only 2 and 3 years old….so the Five Little Peppers was a good pick for us. would love to have another book like that to captivate all the kids!)?



Recipe: Quick Potatoes Au Gratin

We LOVE Potatoes Au Gratin. The combo of creamy potatoes and cheese makes it one of our favorite meals.

I do not love how long it can take to make, though. It is one of those meals you have to set aside time for, plan ahead for all the peeling and slicing and the HOUR or more of bake time!

I wanted to share these fast(er) version of the yummy dish because it allows me to whip it up (sort of) last-minute and enjoy it whenever we have a hankering for it. :)

Quick(er) Potatoes Au Gratin

Olive oil or butter, small amount like maybe a tbsp

4 TBSP butter

1/4 cup flour

2-3 cups milk (we use 3 cups, usually, as we like our potatoes very saucy/creamy)

6 medium/large baking potatoes

2 cups cheese (we love a combo of sharp cheddar and gouda)

Onion Powder

Garlic Powder

Sea salt


1. Peel and slice (thinly) the potatoes.In a large skillet, heat olive oil (or butter). Add potato slices to skillet and let cook for several minutes, stirring to rotate slices on top to bottom and warm/cook evenly. Add, to taste, the onion powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper. Cook for 7-10 minutes, while performing step #2.

2. While you are cooking the potatoes, melt the butter in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add the flour and stir to combine. Let cook a minute more, then SLOWLY whisk in milk. I like to pour a little in, stir it to combine and let it thicken before adding more. After all milk is added in, cook until starts to bubble and thickens. Do not boil it.

3. Transfer potatoes to a large baking dish (we use a 3 qt, 9×13 dish). Pour milk mixture over, making sure all potatoes are covered, or mostly covered. Sprinkle cheese over and bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes or until cheese is bubbly and maybe slightly browned and potatoes are very soft. You can broil for a few minutes at the end, if your dish is broiler safe and you would like a little more crispy topping.

So, this recipe took me less than an hour on a Sunday afternoon, when I had to feed the kids before AWANA. I could have cut down on more time and sliced the potatoes ahead of time, storing in cold water in the fridge. They would’ve been ready to just toss in the skillet. Cooking them on the stove top before the oven cuts down the oven time. They soften up before baking and that whole hour or more of baking isn’t needed….which I LOVE! :)

We ate this with raw veggies and applesauce.



Why We CAN Handle Marriage…and SHOULD

(Disclaimer: I am not a marriage expert. I do not claim to be. I do not believe that all marriages are the same or that I can solve everyone’s marital problems. The following are just my thoughts and things I have learned being married.)

Recently, I saw an article being shared on Facebook titled “5 Reasons We Can’t Handle Marriage Anymore”. (I was going to link to it, but decided I did not want to link up to that kind of article. Feel free to Google it, if you would like to read it.)

Honestly, I have never been more mad at someone I don’t know as I was at this author. I saw friends and family sharing it for days before I decided to click on it to read. After I read it, I wanted to call each person that posted or shared it and tell them how angry I was that would share that junk. I couldn’t figure out if the article was serious or sarcastic. The Editor’s Note explains he is 29 years old and divorcing after being married in 2012.

So let me get this straight…A guy, who divorces after just three short years of marriage, is sharing why MY generation can’t handle marriage anymore. He explains why “marriages just don’t work for people of his generation.”

It also notes in the article that he writes a relationship column. Um, really?? A man who was married for only three years…has a relationship column. Are people following his advice? I wonder what the divorce rate is for his viewers.

Anyway, I was pretty mad after reading his article. And it got me thinking. I wanted to share my opinion of his article and reasons why we CAN handle marriage…and why we should!

To me, he has really devalued marriage. He says he has experience to share because he has been divorced. Um, to me, that seems like a reason he DOES NOT have any experience to speak on marriage. Let’s talk to my parents about marriage and how it works. They are celebrating their 40th anniversary next month!! I would rather hear from a long-time married couple about marriage than a guy who marries for three years then divorces.

On Wednesday, I will be celebrating my 10th Anniversary with my husband. TEN YEARS! And I still don’t find myself qualified to speak on marriage. ;) I just know that marriage is WORK and a COMMITMENT, and if you don’t do the work or make the commitment…then no, you can’t handle marriage.

Quickly, here are my 3 reasons we can’t handle marriage:

1. We are IMPATIENT. Our generation has everything at our fingertips and we expect instant gratification. We have a problem in our marriage? We want an instant fix. We don’t want to have to wait and work at it. We want it fixed NOW.

Don’t get me wrong, I am totally included in this. I get upset sometimes when something between my husband and myself isn’t resolved instantaneously. BUT, I have learned (and will continue to learn, I am sure) that things take time. I have flaws, and he has flaws. A great marriage is obtained with PATIENCE.

2. We are SELFISH. We really are. Just look at our society. All these divorces fought out in court for more money. We push others down and out of the way on Black Friday for a stupid deal at the store. We sue anyone and everyone for anything and everything. We’re killing unborn babies because they’re an inconvenience. People are stealing because they think they deserve more. Politicians are making shady deals because it makes them money.

Marriages don’t work when all we see is ourselves. Being married is like being on a team. You cannot win a game in any team sport, if you are only looking out for yourself. Marriage doesn’t work, if your happiness is your only concern. We are told to do what makes us happy by society. But, I completely disagree. For me, doing what strengthens our marriage (even if initially I am not happy…because I am selfish) is key to a good marriage. My husband works hard, so I can stay home with our kids. Do I always want to have dinner on the table for when he walks in the door? No, some days I just want to lie on the couch and watch tv at 6:00, BUT when my tired husband walks in the door…he deserves a warm meal and to be able to relax. I am learning to put him first…and finding that when I do, I am actually happier than when I put ME first. Weird, huh? I am doing the exact opposite of what society is telling women…yet I find I am extremely fulfilled and content and happiest when I put my husband’s desires and concerns first.

Go figure. :)

3. We have never had to struggle. Stick with me on this one. Sure, we had a recession a few years ago. Yes, times are hard financially for a lot of us. I agree that most people live paycheck to paycheck these days (well, we do…and it is tough sometimes!). BUT, think back a few decades. Think of the struggles our parents, grandparents, great-grandparents had to deal with…and made it through STILL married. Past generations were sent to war when they didn’t want to go. Others literally had nothing, not a penny to their name. And no charitable organizations or government-funded programs to help them out.  (Unlike today, when we say we’re broke…yet we have a home, an iPhone, a car. You get the idea.) Some had illnesses…and there were no medications or treatments for them. There were REAL struggles. Not like today’s struggles – slow internet connection, phone out of range and can’t text or get on Facebook, having to wait a longer-than-expected time for the pizza to be delivered, waiting in line at the clothing store, our appliances not working right and having to wait a day or two for them to be serviced (or buy new ones!). You know…all those things we constantly complain about, as if they are real problems.

Past generations did not have a million restaurants to choose from on busy nights. They just had to go home and MAKE a meal. They did not have a hundred clothing stores down the street. They MADE their clothes or bartered with someone who did. Not all kids were able to go to school. Some had to stay home and WORK on their family’s farm…or were sent to work on someone else’s farm to make money for their family. They didn’t have cell phones to call up their husband/wife/child. They just kissed them goodbye in the morning and prayed they’d see them at the end of the day. They didn’t have a washer and dryer in their home.

I firmly believe all three of those reasons intertwine, and the main reason marriage doesn’t work is just because we’re selfish. It all boils down to that. If we could look past ourselves more often, a LOT more marriages would still be intact. And, of course, I believe that the selfishness creeps in when we leave God out of the equation. Marriage can’t be its best, if God isn’t included.

Now, I wanted to share what I have learned in my short ten years of marriage. Here is WHY we can handle marriage:

1. God has created us for companionship.

Genesis 1:18 tells us that God said “…It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Clearly, God is a fan of marriage. Verse 24 goes on to explain “…a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” He doesn’t say they are two individuals that should find what makes them happy. It says “one flesh.” Everything is to benefit them as ONE unit.

Selflessness is not easy. Trust me,…I still don’t do it right! It is a lot of work, but the more I practice it, the more natural it becomes. When I seek out my husband’s best interest on a regular basis, it becomes less work and more enjoyable. It becomes the normal thought process, and IT MAKES ME HAPPY TO MAKE HIM HAPPY.

(I understand God has created some with the gift of singleness. I am not denying that. I am just speaking to the fact that for those of us called to marriage…it can work because of the companionship desire God has placed in us.)

2. God has given us the best example of love.

John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world, he gave him one and only son…” If that isn’t the best example of love, I don’t know what could be. I mean, look around you. Look at yourself. Would you give your ONLY son up for mankind. I can answer that with a strong NO. For all the pedophiles, the rapists, the murderers, the liars, the politicians, the thieves, etc.? Would you give your child for them – give your child to DIE an awful death to redeem the nastiest of sinners? (Of course, God sees all sinners the same, but think of how we view certain sins – molestation, rape, murder, etc.)

God has shown love, and NONE OF US deserve it. We cannot do enough good in our lifetime to ever deserve His love. BUT, he gave it, knowing we could never pay him back.

“He paid a debt He did not owe, because we owed a debt we could not pay.” I don’t know about you, but I am never really inclined to pay someone else’s debt. Especially if it was something that required me to give my child for.

We can handle marriage…when we look to the ONLY ONE who knows true love. We can have a marriage full of love, when we follow God’s example of love. He looks out for our best interests, just like we should look out for our spouse’s. He is patient and kind and long-suffering.

Long-suffering….not really a word I would use to describe myself. I am more of a short-suffering kind of person. ;) I am selfish and impatient. And my marriage suffers when I go that route. It only really works when I follow God’s example of love.

3. A marriage committed to God can withstand any technology or social media, any financial struggle, and any imperfections we have.

Marriage would be perfect if it weren’t for humans. :)

The article I spoke of talks about social media, financial hardships, our desire for attention, and other things as the reasons we can’t handle marriage. BUT, I can confidently say that my GOD is stronger than all those things. He created the world, for crying out loud. Surely He can handle my struggles and imperfections. :)

Maybe it is time we put down the technology and looked at our spouse. Maybe Facebook IS getting in the way of marital bliss. We see other people’s financial gains.

And there will always be someone else who will give us that attention we think our spouse is denying us. We will certainly see that other person’s attention when we take our eyes off our spouse and start looking out for just ourselves.

And, we compare our situations and relationships to everything we see around us. Perhaps we should turn off the electronics and stop looking at other people. I know I should do it more often. Those days when I am griping mentally about what my husband did or didn’t do…is usually the day I see someone gloating on Facebook about their precious spouse. And I get more angry. But, guess what? I have the best spouse for me…and the only reason I can’t see that is because of ME. (see? it all goes back to selfishness)

I hope this post makes sense. I feel like there are so many things out there telling us why marriage isn’t worth it or blaming marital failures on things rather than explaining marriages don’t work when we are in it for ourselves.

Before I end, I wanted to share one statement about WHY WE SHOULD HANDLE MARRIAGE:

Marriage IS worth it. It is one of God’s most awesome blessings. It makes me sad to see people not valuing it. I cannot imagine being happy without my husband. He truly is my best friend. And we learn so much more, each year of our marriage. We have learned, most importantly, that marriage only works when God is the center. Our joy comes from the Lord, so to find joy in our marriage it, too, must come from the Lord.

Alright, off the soapbox. Happy Monday!

Still Here…Mostly :)


It takes me a while to learn lessons.

Honestly. I can go through the same difficulty or failure a hundred times before the little light bulb clicks on. :) I suppose that is why I am unbelievably thankful for God’s grace! He just waits patiently for me to get it, so we can move on.

I had MY big plans for this past week to post info every day for Asbestos Awareness Week. I loved everything I read about the facts on asbestos and mesothelioma and getting the word out about its existence. I had it set to post April 1st through 7th some helpful information each day.

Didn’t happen except for one day.

I had big plans to spray our basement with peppermint oil, since all the spiders are appearing in the warmer weather now….and I absolutely HATE spiders.

Didn’t happen…yet.

I had every intention to lesson plan two weeks of schoolwork, so we could smoothly start each day without having to sift through my papers and info on lessons.

No such luck. We are winging it each day, fitting in lesson here and there. Didn’t even get to our group reading time until 7:15pm last night! Normally, group time happens before 10AM.

Me, me, me. I, I, I. See the theme here??

Ethan woke up this morning lethargic…in almost a scary way. Arthur and I just sat and stared at him because it was so creepy. He didn’t want to move his arms or legs, or even hold his head up. I set him in his chair for breakfast, and he started dozing off. Gave him some ice water, he drank it and then threw it up. We gave him a little activated charcoal. Then I held him for a while, he fell asleep while I changed his diaper and slept there on the floor for some time. He snuggled on me and slept until about 9:30, when he just sat straight up as if he was just waking up for the day. Totally alert, hungry, and thirsty. He started chattering about the preschool dvd that was on, as if the past three hours didn’t even happen. So strange! He is acting totally fine now, looking at school flashcards here next to me, still yapping about whatever comes to mind. :)

My plans for this morning were to make oatmeal, start schoolwork after Dad left, and work on updating and taking inventory of our emergency bags we keep in the basement. (Potential for severe weather tomorrow night….this, of course, makes me want to prep big time. LOL) None of that has happened yet. Just kinda watching Ethan and letting the bigger kids play. They did their reading and an educational computer game, but no group time or math yet.

I feel disorganized lately. Lots of plans. Little execution. I haven’t been using my daily checklist the past few weeks, so I am certain that is a huge reason I am not on track. I will be printing those out today, so I can get back in the habit of daily household tasks to keep up with cleaning and whatnot. I am sure I’ve mentioned it before, but I use The Confident Mom’s printable planner.

Another thing that most definitely added to the chaos is NOT having my quiet time in the morning. I fooled myself into thinking I could do it just any time of the day. BUT, I have found I absolutely must schedule a time to do it in the early morning. Even if it isn’t done before everyone gets up or as the first thing I do…I still need to get it in before we start school. My mind is much more at ease after reading my Bible and writing in my prayer journal.

Lots on my mind for our family and other families we know. LOTS to write in my prayer journal. I feel relieved after prayer time and writing it down, just giving it all to the Lord. I cannot carry it myself, and keeping it all in just ruins the day for all of us.

I will get back to regular posts. Whether or not they follow my “regular” pattern, who knows. Going to try to go with the flow with regard to the blog. Some exciting opportunities coming up, actually, with this blog. Praying that is the right time and that my priorities stay in line. Could be really great or really detrimental. I want to be sure I have bathed it in prayer before I decide. THAT is something I finally am learning…bathe everything in prayer. Obviously, I can control nothing…except my decision to pray over it or not!

Have a great week! Hoping to post again tomorrow, but we shall see! :)


Asbestos Awareness Week

(This post was supposed to be up yesterday; however, my youngest son made our afternoon a little interesting/difficult and most of my plans went out the door. So this is a day late.)

This week (April 1 – 7) is Asbestos Awareness Week. I had never heard of this until recently, when I was contacted about the week and the information about asbestos. I can honestly say I was pretty shocked at how prevalent the use of asbestos is STILL here in the U.S.

I thought of asbestos as an old material used decades ago, until it was discovered it was toxic and caused numerous health issues. Well, it WAS discovered as toxic and it DOES cause health issues…but it is still being used.

One of the scariest health issues it causes is mesothelioma. Having known several people in my life dealing with cancer, I wanted to share with you all some facts about asbestos and mesothelioma. This is all in hopes of spreading more information about how toxic asbestos is and how common it is in our country.

Today’s 3 facts are these:

1. Asbestos is still used in the United States each year….to the tune of 30 million pounds!!! (per the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance)

2. 700,000 schools and buildings in the US still contain asbestos insulation. (Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance)

3. Asbestos is the #1 cause of occupational cancer! (ADAO)

This information is disgusting. Asbestos is toxic – we have all hear this. Yet it is still being used, and it still exists in buildings and places where our children frequent!

Tomorrow I will share more information I have read recently. I encourage you all to educate yourself as well. Go to the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance site to get more information about asbestos, mesothelioma, and how you can protect yourself and your family. If we can avoid this toxic substance and its devastating effects on our health, let’s do it!

Monthly Menu Plan: April

This warm weather has me distracted. :) It took me three days to create this menu plan because we were drawn to be outside while it was warm each day!

But it is done! And I am pleased with what we came up with. I went easy on breakfasts, and I didn’t include anything that required too much prep work. Figured I would go easy on myself this month, since it will be warming up more. We will want to be outside more, and I would rather be out there and not in the kitchen working on breakfast for the next day.

The one thing I did different this month is I assigned meals to each day of the month. Last time, I just made a list of the meals I had and we checked off each one we used. I found that I kept pushing off meals that required more work, which then gave me several meals with prep work the last week. This time, I pulled out our family calendar/planner and noted which days and evenings we had appointments or church activities or would be away from home. I factored in my husband’s days off, so I could put easier meals on those days as we usually spend time outside or all together and don’t want to be in the kitchen a lot. I think scheduling meals on certain days this month will be better. Plus, I planned out the doubled meals better, spacing them out about two weeks, so we don’t have the same meal a few days apart. :)

So here is what I came up with:

April 2015 Menu Plan

Is anyone else planning a month at a time? Any tips for NOT taking three days to plan it all out??? :)