lessons in love

Exercise, Sex, and the Bible

Everywhere I turn, I am bombarded with advertisements, commercials, and even just regular people telling me to work out, get fit, “if you got it, flaunt it”, get some muscle, it’s almost bikini season.

Frankly, I find it pretty annoying. (I am sure some would say the same about me and my “eat well” demands on here. haha!) I honestly don’t care much for exercising at all. Ok, I hate it. I don’t like being sweaty, unless it is because I am outside and it is hot. I am not one to care if I am physically fit. I am also not big on flaunting my body. I have little girls that do exactly what I do, and I would not want them trying to flaunt their bodies around. I have no desire to accentuate any parts of my body so other people can see how good I look.

I recently started exercising, but I haven’t posted about it here because I didn’t want to jinx anything. šŸ™‚ I have been consistent for FOUR full weeks now, and I am loving the results. But, I am not continuing for reasons you might think. Yes, I like to see that I actually have some muscle tone now in my stomach and (a tad) in my arms. Yes, I like to feel a little less old when I carry one of the kids or bend over to pick something up. No, I don’t plan to show off my awesome muscles, though….except for the one pic I texted my sister, when I first saw I had some abs! Ha!

The main reason I exercise is…FOR MY HUSBAND. No, he doesn’t make me exercise. No, he doesn’t tease me or tell me I need to. (except when it comes to running, he tells me I need to run because he thinks everyone should run!) He does not make fun of my post-baby body. He loves my body whether or not I exercise.

Our Pastor is doing a series at church called Zero Shades of Grey, and it has to do with human sexuality from a Biblical standpoint. He is two weeks into it, and I am loving it. As uncomfortable as it may feel sitting with hundreds of people at church, while he talks about sexual fulfillment, it is so nice to hear someone address sex from a Biblical view. One of the things he spoke about, and I knew but hadn’t really considered much, was that a wife’s body belongs to her husband (and husband’s body belongs to the wife…in case you thought I was being sexist there). I knew that verse (I Corinthians 7:4), but I started thinking about my exercising. Sure, I wanted to be able to look in the mirror and see muscle tone and feel fit. I started thinking, though, about what my husband looks at. I know he will love me no matter how I look, but if I have the power to keep my body looking nice for him…then why not?

Why in the world would I sound so non-feministic? Because I am not one to be pro-feminism at all. And because I really don’t care about having a great body for myself. I am married, and everything I do should be with my husband in mind!

So, here are the 4 reasons I exercise for my husband. They are realistic and I really put some thought into them, keeping the Bible in mind and the commands it gives us wives.

1. I exercise for my husband….so I can stay awake in the evenings with him and not fall asleep on the couch at 8:30! We have such a short amount of time together in the evenings, the least I can do is stay awake! šŸ™‚ On the days I exercise and get enough water, I stay awake longer in the evenings. I am more alert and more pleasant to be around (just ask my family!). My husband is gone all day at a job he doesn’t really like; I know he looks forward to spending time with me in the evenings. I want to be awake, alert, and not crabby. Exercise, water intake, and vitamins are the three things that help me do that. (Proverbs 31:15 “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.” This woman was up super early…I doubt she was dozing off while her husband was trying to hang out with her!)

2. I exercise for my husband...to look sexy for him. Like I said, he will love me no matter what my body looks like. I do feel like I have some responsibility, though, when it comes to my looks. Sure, pregnancies and babies really take a toll on the youth of our bodies, but there are still things we can do (EXERCISE!) to help our bodies look nice. And since my body’s scars or tone can only be seen when I’m naked…and my husband is the only one that sees me naked…I keep it looking nice for him.

Listen, there are SO many temptations out there for our husbands. Every time they turn around, there is a woman with her breasts hanging out, a butt crack creeping out of jeans, leggings being worn as regular pants and no shirt covering the butt area, skimpy bikinis that are really not appropriate anywhere, and so on. My husband works (and prays) hard to keep himself from lusting. The women out there make it very difficult. FOR ME, I find if I can give him eye candy here at home…he is even less likely to consider looking out there. No, I am not saying men cheat because their wives don’t look nice. I would never excuse infidelity or blame the wife. I will say that if I keep my husband satisfied (like I am supposed to), he will have no reason to look or go elsewhere.

I always think of those verses in Proverbs – “Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress And embrace the bosom of a foreigner?” (Proverbs 5:18-20) My husband is to rejoice in me; I am to satisfy him. One way for me to do that is to exercise and keep my body healthy and fit.

3. I exercise for my husband…so I can be around (in good health) to tend to the home and the kids. I love being home with my kids. I love taking care of the household duties. I love homeschooling. I will NOT be able to do that for years and years without taking care of myself. Exercise, water, and vitamins are my best route for keeping healthy and maintaining the housework and taking care of our children. There are so many illnesses (hereditary or not) that can be kept under control or eliminated with good food and exercise. I don’t want my husband to have to worry that I am not able to keep up with the housework or caring for our kids. (Proverbs 31:27-28 “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”)

4. I exercise for my husband…so I can have confidence about my body. Look, we all have things about our bodies we dislike. I have no boobs. My collar bone sticks out. I have stumpy legs. My hips are too wide for my waist. And so on. Society doesn’t help, telling us we need to be super skinny with huge boobs in order to be “hot”. When I exercise, the endorphins that kick in really make me happy about the hard work I am putting in. I feel better about what I think are flaws…and I see myself how my husband sees me : BEAUTIFUL. God made us all different. So many different body types. Mothers, I think, have it the worst: battle scars from pregnancy and birth…and then the expectations to be back at a ridiculously small size immediately after giving birth! With all the demands on our bodies as mothers, we can easily feel ugly. Society screams that we have to be a certain way or we are not pretty. Guess what? We are all pretty. We are all beautiful. We are all different. Exercising does something chemical in our bodies and helps us feel better about ourselves. I’m not lying!

HERE is a whole article on what exercising does to our brains.

And when I feel better about my body and less insecure, I feel better flaunting myself in front of my husband. And he finds that sexy. Maybe that’s too much information or makes you a little uncomfortable to read. But, think about it. Your husband is attracted to you and likes looking at you. Do YOU like looking at you? Why not? Try exercising….like a really hard, sweaty 10 minutes or more of exercise. Just see how much better you feel. (And then drink lots of water or you’ll feel crappy again from dehydration!) When YOU think you are hot, and you are more confident about your body around your husband…just watch how much more sexy he finds you. šŸ™‚

I will praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” (Psalm 139:14) What are we telling God about his “works” if we cannot be happy with the body He has given us?

Please understand I am not looking to be more confident about my body around other people. I couldn’t care less if anyone else likes my body. I am not looking to flaunt my new muscles or my less-flabby booty. I simply want to feel better about how I look because it is even more attractive to my husband to see me confident about my body.

So, I started exercising four weeks ago for me. I wanted to have butt that didn’t jiggle, abs that looked more like a six-pack instead of just the diastasis recti I’ve got going on, and arms that didn’t look old.

But now, after considering what our Pastor has been speaking about and all that the Bible has to say, I will keep up the exercising FOR MY HUSBAND. And I think I like that plan much better!




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