Ok, so I know my last post was depressing. I just wanted to get that all off my chest, and typing it out helped do that.
As a follow-up, I thought I should explain that my really poor attitude about Christmas and presents and money has been adjusted. After I posted, I really started looking at my heart and attitude again. I knew I had given it all over to God and was trusting Him to take care of the details, but I still held some anger and bitterness about presents. PRESENTS! I mean, that is probably one of the least important things in the world to worry about.
I started thinking that maybe my heart wasn’t right after all. That maybe I HADN’T let it all go to let God work.
Sunday morning while rushing to get a shower in before I loaded up the kids for church, I prayed and asked God to help prepare me for the church service – to clean my heart of any sin, so I could have it open to receive the message Pastor was going to preach. God brought to my mind the whole blog post about Christmas and reminded me that I had not let go and was holding onto some anger. I was angry at other people who posted on Facebook about their gifts, angry at God for not letting me have my way, and angry at myself for letting me get angry. 🙂 I asked God to take it all away and just let me focus on Christ and my family and to see the blessings instead of the things I wanted and wasn’t getting. I cried and knew that NOW my heart was ready for church…and Christmas. That I finally understood and FINALLY let go of it all.
A little over 24 hours later, my husband texted me to say he received a bonus at work. 🙂 He has never received one this close to Christmas, so I had thought he wasn’t getting one. Little did I know that God was working on a bigger blessing in this bonus he received (more than the specific amount I had originally prayed for!) and working on me to get my heart right.
So I have firsthand seen how when God says “No” to a prayer request….He may just be working on something greater than what we even asked for!
I totally get it now. And I am so thankful God didn’t give me what I had first asked for….we would’ve missed out on the bigger blessing…and I probably would’ve not appreciated it as much or even understood the lesson He was teaching me.
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas with your friends and family! I am excited to finish up shopping tonight for those I love and be able to bless them with the awesome blessing God gave us this week!!