There are so many things I want out of life, that I think I push myself to do more than I’m supposed to right now. I don’t just mean physically either. I know I push myself too much physically, especially while pregnant, but I always think “it has to get done and who else is there to do it?”. I hate burdening Arthur with housework after he’s just spent a long day in the car and at work with a difficult employer.
I think I push myself too much spiritually too. Sounds kind of weird – aren’t we SUPPOSED to keep pushing ourselves to be better spiritually? Yes, I believe we are. But, I think I get ahead of myself often and try to move on to new things before I’ve “mastered” the first one. Like the whole Proverbs 31 woman thing. I’ve been studying that chapter since high school and barely scraped the surface on how to be the best woman I can be. BUT, every time I discover something new about the Proverbs 31 woman, I try to mimic her without fully committing my actions to God or before I fully assess what exactly I should be doing with the new knowledge. I don’t think that’s the right way to go about it. I should be seeking God FIRST to see what exactly He is wanting me to change or do. I feel like I’m doing it backwards sometimes, which then delays me ever accomplishing anything and I’m back where I started. I have things I want to make a habit and things I want to be able to do for my family consistently, but I lack the preparation so it doesn’t get done properly or at all.
I don’t know if that made sense. It’s in my head and I know I need to go about things in a different order when it comes to being the woman God wants me to be. Reorganizing my plan of attack is key. Seeking God first, then once I know what he wants me to do and how I should do it I will be better prepared to complete it.