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Tired

I am exhausted. I feel like that’s a recurring theme these days. Tired. I am not sleeping well at night. Part of that is pregnancy and part is the girls. One of them (changes nightly) wakes up crying almost every night now; it is tiring. I don’t know if it’s bad dreams or tummy aches or what, but it is getting old real fast. Last night Iris was up and down several times over a period of about 15 minutes, asking to come into bed with us. I just can’t let her in there anymore. My belly is getting too big, and whenever one of them is in our bed I get kicked. It hurts!

Finally, Iris went back to bed but she didn’t close her door again, so I had to get up and close it (they’ll wake up when Arthur gets up at 4:45am otherwise!). My sciatic hurt, I felt dizzy, and my stomach muscles ached because instead of sitting up from my side, I sat straight up from lying on my back. Ouch!

Needless to say, I was not very cheerful when I got up this morning. šŸ™‚ Plus, last night I was all disorganized. I forgot to start the dishwasher (something I always do after dinner…so we can put the clean dishes away first thing), I didn’t put out the girls’ outfits, and I didn’t have my To Do list printed out. What a mess this morning. Iris and Lily got up before me and wandered around, not knowing they needed to get dressed because there were no clothes out. I didn’t get my shower in first thing. I didn’t have clean dishes to unload. I didn’t have my list. I had no plan for what we were having for breakfast. UGH! I felt so out of it.

I’m back on track now, but I feel like I lost a good hour and a half there trying to play catch up. Thankfully, it’s laundry day, so we are in all day long. I don’t have to rush out of the house, which is nice. Now, hopefully, the snow won’t be bad tomorrow morning so I can get my grocery shopping done with Addy and get the girls back home before the blizzard starts. 

I’ve been following a blog by some women that homestead. I really didn’t even know that was a term until 2 days ago. šŸ™‚ These women are amazing. They are living my dream. Ok, my dream from my fantasy world….not an actual attainable dream of mine. They live on lots of land, have their own gardens and grow their own year-round supplies of fruits and veggies, that they then can or freeze for the winter. One of the ladies now has her own cow, so she can have her own milk supply. Most of them have chickens, so they have their own supply of eggs. It’s awesome to read about! 

Arthur and I have been talking about moving (again….knowing it won’t happen any time soon) and we both would like to get out away from the suburbs and the subdivisions and the close neighbors (no offense to our neighbors). We’d like a couple acres of land, since we’ve NEVER had a backyard for the girls and the dog. I would love to plan some gardens and homeschool the girls and just live quietly. I’m over the whole TV thing. Not having cable doesn’t bother me anymore. It’s hard to find quality movies anymore, too. Everything has language I don’t want them repeating – stupid, dumb, idiot, etc. I am really wanting to shelter them a lot lately. šŸ™‚ Maybe it’s hormonal and a phase, but I really don’t like most influences for kids out there lately. I even dislike the show Dinosaur Train on PBS…they talk about the history of dinosaurs and how they lived millions of years ago and how there’s proof of that. Yeah, right. Ok. Let’s fill the kids’ minds with garbage now, so they have no defense against that ignorant way of thinking when they’re older. šŸ™‚

Not that I have model behavior around them all the time, but I like to know exactly what influence they’re getting and be able to change it (my attitude/actions/words) if it’s not encouraging or helpful in their growth. That’s why I am really looking forward to homeschooling. Iris is such a people-pleaser sometimes; I want her to learn to please God first. I don’t want her to even get the influence of public schools (just my opinion; i know it’s not the schools that are evil. i’m not that extreme! lol). 

I have a lot on my mind, obviously. Just wanted to get it out. As I’m typing, my eyes are closing. I really need a good nap. Especially, if I’m doing groceries tomorrow and preparing for a school snow day on Wednesday (most likely, I hear) and still have to menu plan for the week. I’m going to need a lot of energy, patience, and reliance on God’s strength, for sure. And every time I’m in this tired funk all I can think is: how in the world did my mom do it???! šŸ™‚

I smell poop. Addy’s nearby. Time to get that taken care of. Oh, and we’re working on potty training her. One more thing to throw in the mix. šŸ™‚ But I would be THRILLED if she was trained before Baby Artie got here. One in diapers is ideal!

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