Three Things I Will Change

I make a lot of excuses for things I don’t want/like to do. I can be pretty lazy about certain things, but I have found three things I will change. I need to change them because they are very important to my health and my baby’s health.

1. I WILL DRINK MORE WATER.

I have never been great at drinking a good amount of water. I either drink milk or I sometimes just don’t drink anything. As a pregnant or nursing mom, it is so important to drink a lot of water. While nursing, I need to make sure I stay hydrated. I am awful at this.

My mom tells me so often to drink a glass of water each time I sit to nurse the baby. My baby eats so often, you’d think I’d be great at being hydrated. I don’t drink water when I nurse, though, so I know I’m not where I should be with the water drinking. I will change this.

2. I WILL SPEAK SOFTLY IN THE HOUSE…unless it’s an emergency.

Seriously, I yell so much. And then when the kids yell, I yell at them for yelling. ?!? That’s so backwards! I have read several blogs/articles lately about speaking softly in the home. I envy those moms that speak in soft voices and their kids listen immediately. I wish I had started that when I had my first child. Now, I know it’ll be so much more work because I didn’t.

3. I WILL PRAY FOR MY HUSBAND MORE OFTEN.

I have been doing better with this, but I want it to be so much more instinctively rather than an after-thought. I am reading the book The Power of a Praying Wife. It is so convicting for me about how I speak to, treat, and pray for my husband. How can I expect him to be a certain way if I’m not acting as I should?

That’s all for now. These things have just been on my mind, so I thought I’d share. They’re not New Years resolutions or anything, just things I want to change about myself.

Did you make any resolutions for this year? Are you sticking with them?

 

Creating a Routine After Baby

Any mom knows that everything changes after the baby arrives. Whether you are a mom of one or a mom of ten….things change.

With our newest little guy, I found that things changed quite a bit for us. I had a little anxiety about starting up our school work again and balancing it with housework and cooking/baking everything.

After much prayer and tears, I discovered a few things about finding a routine after baby.

1. Ask for help (or at least accept it when it’s offered!).

My husband has reminded me often that I need to accept help. Whether it’s from him or friends or family, I need to stop trying to do it all on my own.

After this delivery, I accepted his help around the house. For several days after I got home, he did everything – baths, food, laundry, cleaning. It was amazing how much more rested I felt this time around. My body healed much more quickly also. I was stunned, honestly. I didn’t have any issues with healing or moodiness after Ethan was born, like I did with most of my other babies.

This time around I accepted offers from friends and neighbors for meals, as well as an offer today from our friends to pull our van up to the front after church. I was with all five kids, without Arthur (due to work), and I hesitated accepting the help because these friends have seven kids. BUT, I’m glad I accepted because with a crabby 18 month old and snowy weather…I don’t know if we would have made it to the parking lot!

2. Accept the fact that there will be a NEW “normal.”

I struggle with this one after every pregnancy. You’d think I would have learned by now! As much as I love our former routine and how great we were at getting things done and going places…things are very different now. We can still get things done, but the timing has changed. I can’t do all our laundry on Mondays now; I have to spread it out over 6 days of the week. There’s just too many clothes!

And with a baby not yet sleeping through the night, there is no way I can expect my body to function at 5:15 AM like it did before to get up and shower and get things done before the kids are up. I am lucky if my eyes open by 6 AM now! I still force myself to get up and cook us all breakfast, so we can eat together before Arthur leaves for work (we LOVE this time together, and I don’t want to give that up!). Until that baby sleeps a good 8 hours, I have to accept that our new routine is me getting up and cooking breakfast. Showers and former early morning chores are getting bumped to after breakfast or other reasonable times of the day.

Even once the baby sleeps all night, our routine will be different from now on. With seven people, things will evolve into a schedule and routine that keeps us functional (and sane!).

3.Give yourself GRACE.

I am very big on completing my “To Do” lists each day. It drives me nuts to have things carried over to another day. HOWEVER, with a newborn, things don’t always go as planned and my plans don’t always take precedence. Even simple chores like dusting get pushed into the next day because baby is fussy or poopy or both, my three-year-old found new places to put sticky tack around the house, or my eighteen-month-old is the ONLY one that discovered I didn’t lock the water dispenser on the fridge door and has decided to change his bath time (and kitchen floor cleaning time) to RIGHT NOW!

Rather than beat myself up over not getting everything done when I think it needs to be done, I am learning to give myself a little grace and accept that there is a lot going on these days. Until we have a more regular routine and baby adjusts to sleeping more and eating a little less often (every two hours is just exhausting!), things are going to be delayed sometimes. As long as we are all clean, fed, and uninjured…that’s a productive day!

4. What works for one doesn’t work for all.

I have tried modeling our routine after what I’ve read on other moms’ blogs. It never works! I can’t use what works for a family with a different set of tasks and different personalities and different people! I need to find what will work for US; I may need to try and fail several times, but we will figure it out.  And what I find works for us will probably not be what works for each of you and your families.

5. Remember to cherish these early days!!

I often remind myself I need to slow down and just enjoy the kids. I get carried away with our school work and cleaning and baking that I miss out on some beautiful moments. When did Ethan first smile at me? Couldn’t tell you. And this morning during church I found myself devastated by this. He was smiling at me during the service, and I was trying to think of the first time he caught my eyes and smiled. I know it was recent, but because I was too caught up in getting things done I didn’t pay enough attention to write it down or even sit and enjoy it!

As moms, we often put so much pressure on ourselves to “bounce back” and be as we were before the baby arrived. Like I said above, things will be different going forward, once baby is here. There’s another life to enjoy and to look after. Schedules will have to change. If we can’t ease up and allow the changes, I think we miss out on the joy of it all.

I hope those couple of things can help out any of you that might be in need of some reminders on how life changes after baby. Whether it’s your first baby or your fifth , life changes…for the better, ultimately…and we have to be willing to adjust and enjoy!

Ok, I’m off to snuggle this baby , who is desperately trying to fall asleep in my arms!

 

 

The Joys of Pregnancy

You would think I’d just get used to the not-so-great things about pregnancy, since this is my fifth time. But, no. I am still very aware of the annoyances and uncontrollable physiological happenings during pregnancy.

For instance:

1. Last night I wore some oh-so-flattering gray cotton pj pants (not maternity, mind you) that had an insanely long inseam. They felt really comfortable if I pulled the waist all the way up over my belly…with my tank top tucked in, so the elastic band wouldn’t rub on my skin. I realize how ridiculous this looked…but I didn’t care. I laughed when I saw myself in the bathroom mirror and thought about how I kind of looked like the older gentleman that played the piano at the church I grew up in. He wore his waistband (what seemed to be) very high up on his roly poly middle.

2. Bathroom trips are SO much more frequent with the fifth pregnancy. In fact, I can’t make it to Whole Foods and through the store without really having to go. Of course, I am then rushing us all quickly to the car, so we can get to Meijer and use their bathrooms. It is so annoying! I even make sure I’m the last person to use the bathroom before we leave the house and drive the 15 minutes to Whole Foods! Arthur joked about the incontinence pads at Meijer the other day; I laughed too, but stopped myself when I really thought about how close I feel I’m getting to that stage in life! Ah!!

3. I enjoy the smell of cologne, but I wanted to vomit in church today after the gentleman behind me walked in and sat down. I thought maybe he dumped an entire bottle of cologne on the floor between the pews. But, turns out it was just the OBNOXIOUS amount he was wearing. Make a note, guys: bathing in the cologne does NOT do you any good. I honestly wanted to get up and move…but I was there first and comfy and didn’t feel like moving my big belly.

4. The sound of my dog licking his paws while I am trying to sit and enjoy the silence during nap time DRIVES ME INSANE! I actually get angry with the dog. I tell him to stop or I pick him up and move him to another room! The lick, lick, lick sound is so gross and annoying. Who does he think he is ruining my peace and quiet with his licking?!

5. As much as I love snuggling with my kids in our bed…I am over it until this baby arrives. Seriously…I already have to share my side of the bed with the baby in my womb; why in the world would I want to try to cram another little being on my side?! I can hardly roll over without saying “ouch” out loud. I don’t really want to have to roll over AND scoot back so one of my girls can climb in bed. Sorry, girlies, you’re out until after this winter! I love you, but I really enjoy sleeping where I want…especially since sleep isn’t as wonderfully enjoyable as it used to be, when I could roll onto my stomach or sleep without a pillow between my knees!

6. Every little thing annoys me. (Can you tell?!) I am honestly set off in a grouchy mood by the littlest things. Pitter patter of little feet upstairs when everyone is supposed to be in bed. Barking dog in the middle of nap time. Whining 6-year-old. Whining 4-year-old. Whining 3-year-old. Grouchy 1-year-old. Grouchy 31-year-old husband! (That’s the worst! haha!) My husband’s brilliant idea to tickle me. Right, because tickling an incontinent pregnant woman at 7pm just as she’s drifting off to sleep on the couch is REALLY going to make her want to spend more time with you!

But let me tell you the thing that makes #’s 1 through 6 all worth while:

I can feel this tiny life moving around inside my belly. Day or night, I have the comforting feeling of life inside me. He doesn’t care how my day was or how grouchy I am. He is just in there dancing away (on my bladder, I should add) to the beat of his own drum. He has NO IDEA the chaos he is coming into 3.5 months from now. He is just happy to flip and dance and sword fight (or so it feels, at times).

I don’t care if everyone is behaving today or if no one is behaving. I am just happy to be a Mama and know that I have a special bond with each of my children that no one else has with them. I felt their first attempts at somersaults. Daddy didn’t have that. Grandma didn’t have that (with my babies, at least). No one did. I had it.

And I really feel like I could use the phrase: “I brought you into this world; I can take you out.”

Of course, I don’t mean it.

Well, not today anyway.

Related articles

• In Great Expectation (mothersugar.wordpress.com)
• 8 Pregnancy Symptoms That Nobody Warns You About (forallwomentoknow.blogspot.com)
• Pregnancy Food Cravings (enfamil.com)
• More pregnancy brain moments (the Aruba edition) (thegrassskirtblog.com)

“Snips and snails and puppy dog tails…”

 

That’s what baby number five is made of! We are having another boy! I am so excited. Our Buddy will have a little buddy to play with!

The girls are pretty happy, too, except Addy keeps asking about the girl baby that’s in my belly, too. I am trying to explain there’s only ONE baby and it’s a boy, but she is just so determined to believe there’s a girl hiding in there, too! I really hope not!

The room situation will stay as we had hoped – Buddy will share a room with his new brother. Wow…we really did fill up this house just as fast as we moved in!

I will once again be asking my wonderful sister to pass back the baby boy clothes she loaned to me for Buddy. Since I had him, she had another baby boy. I am happy this baby of ours is a boy, so her newest guy will be close in age to our newest guy. Buddy and her boy Caleb are close in age, too, so that’s pretty neat for when we get together.

My mom mentioned yesterday that there are 6 granddaughters and 5 grandsons, so our baby will even it out to 6 and 6. And, these grandbabies are from only three of my parents’ eight children, so it’ll be really neat to see how many of each they’ll have once all eight of us kids have babies! I am so happy we have a large family. So much love!!

I can’t wait to start unpacking burp rags and blankets and booties. So thankful to God for giving us another healthy pregnancy. Baby is growing well and Mama is feeling great. Couldn’t ask for more!!

 

Weekly Recap

It’s been an exciting week! Last Friday night, I was able to get out for some adult time with my friend Erika. She is a photographer and has her own business, Just Peachy Photography (for some reason, I can’t link the name to her site, so go to http://www.justpeachyphotog.com to see her stuff!). She and I are former neighbors and good friends. She has 3 boys and I have the 4 kids, so it was nice for both of us to get out WITHOUT our kids. I am also excited to announce I will be working with her starting next month on a series about Home Organization. We put a lot of ideas down on paper (after 1.5 hours of giggling and catching up!) and are looking forward to working together to link up our blogs and share info with both our audiences.  It’ll be fun to be a guest blogger for her and give my two cents about organizing our homes! Keep an eye out the beginning of February for the start of a new series!

Besides blogging excitement, our family has had other fun this week. My brother, Tyler, was visiting for 2 days last weekend. The girls love all their aunts and uncles, and they get so excited when one (or more!) of them comes to stay for a night. I just feel bad because most of my siblings are younger and used to sleeping in….which doesn’t happen here! But Tyler was a good sport about it.

We were also able to hang out with our friends Aaron and Amy, from church. We see usually about once a week for dinner or to hang out and watch a movie. We love seeing them and spending time with them. They are newly married (a year and a half, I believe) and do not yet have children, so it’s super easy to coordinate hanging out with them. We love seeing all of our friends, but most everyone has kids now and we all have to coordinate naps and bedtimes and illnesses! With Aaron and Amy, it’s only our kids to coordinate schedules for, so we’ve been able to see them often. And I loooove cooking for people, so it’s been really great for me to share my cooking with them (and so far, I think they’ve liked it ).

We were supposed to go to my in-laws tonight, but with the crazy snow today, we won’t be going anywhere (except to the Redbox, where my husband is now to get movies for this evening!).

It was a really great week, and I’m very thankful for the people we have in our lives, family and friends. Looking forward to another great week next week!

Simplifying Your Closet – Part 3

So, we’ve gone over simplifying the amount of clothing for adults and children. For this next part, I am A LOT to say (I know, shocking!), so I plan to break down the Organization post into a few mini posts and hopefully keep from overwhelming (or boring) anyone.

#3 – Organization Options

Here are the options I have decided to go over with regard to organizing your clothing:

1 – Family Closet

2 – Dressers/Furniture

3 – Plastics, Bins and Baskets

4 – Shelving

5 – Mix and Match

Today, I will go over number 1 only.

The Family Closet. I mentioned a few weeks or months ago that I have adopted this organizational method for our family. Please understand that this type of organizing is not for everyone. It requires planning and constant discipline with regard to cleaning and organizing. A family closet will become overwhelming if you do not keep on top of laundry, keeping clothes put away, and regularly removing clothing that the kids have grown out of.

Let me back up.

What is a family closet? It is a closet/room/area that holds ALL clothing for every member of the family/household. I do not have a video of our closet (my pictures are below, though), so here a two links to  family closets. The first is of the Duggar Family closet. They have 19 kids (with the 20th on the way!), so their need for a serious clothing organizational system is obvious. They have created a room in their room to hold all clothing for everyone. This makes it easier to pass down clothing sizes to the next child, which I am sure they are doing constantly!

The second link I’d like to share is to a blog called Keeper of the Home. The mother here has a video of their family closet (and another picture, actually, of the Duggar’s closet). This video is actually what helped me see how a family closet was the best choice for us.

Here’s our situation: We are a 6 person family living in a 2 bedroom, 1100 square foot home. On our best days, we feel a bit cramped. Our master bedroom has a walk-in closet, while the second bedroom has a decent size “regular” closet. With 4 children, we have clothes and toys for all ages, and even after paring down both we are out of room! I watched Keeper of the Home’s video and thought of moving everyone’s clothes into our walk-in closet and keeping the kids’ closet as home for most of their toys! Genius.

If you have a home with enough rooms for kids and closet room for all, then maybe a family closet isn’t the right route for you.

Here are the reason I love our family closet:

1. Everyone’s clothes are together, so when I pick out clothes for myself and the kids each night, I only have to go to ONE place to find everything….and if I don’t get to it before the kids go to bed, I don’t have to worry about waking them to sneak in their room and pick out clothes.

2. For laundry day, I only have ONE place to go to put everyone’s clothes away!

3. It motivated me to simplify the amount of clothing we all have…because it ALL has to fit in one closet!

4. It moved almost all of the toys out of sight…which I love most! I do not like to see clutter or toys taking over our house, so to be able to fit them all into the kids’ closet at the end of the day was a HUGE plus for me!

I created our family closet on my own. We do not have a lot of bedroom furniture for us or the kids, so I didn’t have a lot of things to move. We use the 3-drawer Sterilite carts for about half of the clothes and other Sterilite drawers for the rest. My mom gave us a dresser in the Spring, that I had been using in the kids’ closet to hold most of their clothes. That was the only big item I had to move into our family closet.

Below are photos of what I’ve come up with….and it’s working so far for us!

This is the dresser Arthur and I share for clothing, with bins up top holding his running clothes and both of our sweaters, other winter attire, and our jeans.

The top rack of hanging items are all of Arthur’s work clothes. The bottom row is all of the kids’ clothes that hang up – dresses, skirts and boy church clothes.

The center of the rods has a shelving unit. The bottom two areas hold everyone’s sweatshirts and a box for all slippers. It’s empty right now because we’re all wearing them! And yes, those are bottles of ranch dressing on the row above. Small pantry = creative places to store stockpiled items!

This rod has my hanging up items. It is a bit crowded because I have a few pants suits that I am trying to decide if I should keep or not. And I have a few dressy dresses on there that I need to pass on. The baskets shown are for dirty clothes.

Here are all the drawers for kid clothing. The bottom 3 drawers on the far right hold: swimsuits and summer hats, tights for all the girls, and next size up for baby Artie. The big drawer up top on the right has all of baby Artie’s current size pants, sleepers and jackets. The 3 drawers just to the left of those 3 on the right hold pajamas. Each girl has their own pj drawer. The big 3 drawers just under the baskets hold shirts and sweaters. Each girl has their own shirt drawer. The 3 wide drawers under those hold pants and jeans. Each girl has her own pants drawer.

And lastly, this is my cluttered area. The one big drawer under the clutter holds all of baby Artie’s onesies, shirts, bibs, socks. Beneath that are 3 drawers that hold the girls’ undies, socks, and undershirts. Each girl has their own drawer. That clutter up top is extra diapers, the girls jewelry box (which they get in to too often, so I have to keep it out of their room!), and clothes that the baby has grown out of that need to be given away or given back to the lender.

That last picture shows a great example of how much discipline a family closet demands. Yes, it’s nice to be able to keep everyone’s things together, BUT there is no room left over for clutter. I need to stay on top of taking out clothes that the youngest has grown out of, otherwise I end up with a pile like that above. I’m blaming it on the busy weeks of Thanksgiving and illness.

So, this was just part 1 of number 3. That’s confusing. The sub-sections of this Part #3 will be posted each day, rather than spacing them out a week like the main points. Otherwise, I might never get through this series! Monday, you can expect to see the second and third sub-points…Dressers/Furniture and Plastic, Bins, and Baskets.

Happy Organizing!

Money Saving Mom’s NEW Book!!

photo courtesy of Money Saving Mom

One of the blogs I follow daily is Money Saving Mom. She is a Christian mom, a homeschooling mom, and a frugal and budgeting mom. I really enjoy her posts, her deals, and can’t wait to enjoy her BOOK!

Go HERE for info on how to order. I strongly encourage you to buy it. I admit, I have not read it yet, so I cannot attest to its content; HOWEVER, I assume it will be full of fantastic content, just as her blog is!

The Beginning

Testing, testing, 1, 2.

So, I’m new here. Not to the whole parenthood thing but to WordPress; although, sometimes I still feel new to parenting. There are days when I wonder why I was ever allowed to have children. Then there are days when I secretly want to have 4 more!

Before I get ahead of myself, let me give you some background. I’m a married, stay-at-home, 29-year-old mother of 4 beautiful children. I know every mother says their kids are beautiful, but my kids really are. Seriously – the most beautiful children in the whole world.

My husband and I met in mortuary school. No joke. We both had a “passion” to work with the dead. It sounds weird, I’m sure, but we would have never met if we hadn’t decided on that career path. And now I’m sure most of you are thinking you’re glad we found each other and not one of you!

Three and a half years after meeting, we were married and buying our first home. We now feel like we jumped the gun a bit on buying a home, since we will probably be stuck in this small, crap-tastic townhouse for several more years thanks to the awesome housing market. (Sometimes I have trouble expressing my sarcasm in writing, so for those of you that might have misinterpreted that…WE HATE OUR SMALL HOUSE AND CAN’T WAIT TO GET OUT OF HERE!)

Just a month before we closed on this house, I had a miscarriage. It was very early – just 7 weeks – when it happened. I was devastated for a period of time but was so overjoyed to find out just 6 weeks later that I was pregnant again. Our oldest was born in June 2006.

I was so ready to be a mother, as I have been around kids all of my life. When I was in high school, I wanted a career and kids much later down the road (or never). After meeting my husband and falling in love, I changed a lot and knew I wanted children very much and could not wait to be called Mom.  I am one of eight children, and I felt like I knew everything there was to know about having a baby and raising him/her.

WRONG!

My goal was to have my first child naturally – no epidural, no pain meds, no nothing. After my water broke, I was not having contractions and they induced me. UGH! I caved and asked for an epidural just 6 hours after being induced. I had not prepared mentally for an induction and just gave in to the pain. To me, that was a failure. I don’t think every woman who gets an epidural is a failure, but since my initial plan was different I felt like I had failed myself. I was almost embarrassed to tell people about the birth, having to include the epidural as part of it. BUT, life goes on, and I was ready to enjoy our precious baby girl.

Just six months after our very easy baby arrived, I was pregnant again. I have been blessed with easy pregnancies – no complications, no worries, nothing out of the ordinary. I did fail my in-office glucose test with all 4 kids and had to do the three-hour test (which I passed each time), but that wasn’t a huge deal.

Baby #2′s pregnancy was great. I was still working and found that to be a little more draining than the first pregnancy, but I felt good and was torn between staying home after this baby or going back to work again. We decided that I would stay home after baby #2 was born, as childcare costs would easily eat up 90% of my income and we knew we could pare down on some expenses to cover any extra I would have brought home.

For the second birth, I wanted to try again to avoid an epidural again. I did more reading about being induced and potential risks with epidurals and new ways to breath and block out the pain.

All that reading was useless, since the night I went into birth my husband and I were throwing up from a stomach bug. It was awful! I threw up in the kitchen sink before we even left for the hospital. My husband was in the bathroom for long periods of time and was so afraid he would vomit while driving, we had my father-in-law take us to the hospital for the birth! I was vomiting all through my labor pains, which only made it worse, as my stomach was contracting from throwing up and contracting from contractions! I asked for some pain medication in my IV but eventually gave in again to the epidural. This time, I didn’t feel like as much of a failure because of the extenuating circumstances, but I wasn’t thrilled with having another epidural.

Baby #2 was born in September 2007 and was just as perfect as her older sister! I was happy with my two beautiful girls and ready to start our lives as a family of 4!

Stay-At-Home-Mom. I was so excited for that title. There was no particular reason; I just felt like any woman who could stay home all day long and raise kids must be awesome. My mom did it, so it was what I found I deep down had wanted to do.

More of the Beginning

(I continued the story from my previous post into a new post, as it seemed to be getting quite long.)

Now that I was a stay-at-home-mom, I had all these plans about how much fun the girls and I would have. We would take trips to the zoo and parks and have picnic lunches all summer long. I hadn’t really considered how crabby we could all be if we skipped naps or had too much sugar.

We all adjusted quite well to one income and me being home all the time. I struggled with potty-training my oldest, so we had two in diapers for a while…and that drove me nuts! We spent all winter working on getting her potty-trained but to no avail. I gave up for a while and just enjoyed not yet having to worry about accidents in public. We spent a lot of time at the library for story times, at the mall’s play area, and just having a good time all winter long.

When daughter #2 was nine months old, I became pregnant with Baby #3. I was ecstatic. I loved being a mother and loved being pregnant. I, again, had an enjoyable pregnancy. I did even more reading about labor and the Lamaze method. I was DETERMINED to have this baby naturally, barring any crazy stomach flu episodes.

My labor for baby #3 was short and I had my breathing down pat. Just 3 1/2 hours after arriving at the hospital, daughter #3 was born (April 2009). I cried the most when she was born because I knew all the pain and had experienced what I considered to be the REAL experience of giving birth. It was amazing and awesome and I am so happy I did it.

Again, we had a nice transition from 2 kids to 3. Daughter #3 was pretty jaundice, so we did have some struggle with that for a few weeks, even having to use the lights on her to help it go away. After that, we were doing great and really learning a lot about ourselves.

For instance, I learned that I could nurse a baby while helping a toddler use the toilet and keeping an eye on dinner in the oven, all while catching up with my sister on the phone. I also learned that I didn’t really need to be completely awake to change a diaper in the middle of the night, as I found many diapers next to the bed and not a single memory of changing a diaper during the night.

My husband learned that he really could function with an hour or two of sleep, even going for long runs at 4:45 in the morning before working a 10+ hour day.

So, we lived as a family of five and talked about that being the end of our days of having babies…until I got that itch again to be pregnant.

When daughter #3 was about 18 months old, I became pregnant with Baby #4. This time, my pregnancy was exhausting. I tried to maintain the same activities as I did before this pregnancy, but my body was not having it. I was tired by noon, achy every morning, and crabby beyond belief! We endured, though, even sticking mostly to our normal routine the whole pregnancy. I even did grocery shopping with 3 little ones while being 39 weeks pregnant. That’s not recommended – for anyone! I do not know why I strive to push this whole parenting thing to the limit. It’s ridiculous, really!

Baby #4, our first boy, was born May 2011. I worked on my breathing while I was pregnant and really worked on my focal points, so I could have this baby naturally, as well. I figured if I knew I could do it once, I could do it again. Plus, at each of my prenatal visits, the doctors were saying I was measuring average, which was the same for Baby #3. I assumed they’d be about the same size.

NOPE.

My labor for Baby #4 was short. We got to the hospital at 6AM and he was born before 10AM. My breathing and focal points practice paid off, and I was so calm (and even smiling!) during the labor! I was worried about getting tired when I plateaued at 7cm, but I worked to keep my focus and got to 9cm with no problems. I planned for an “average” size baby, since that’s how they described my measurements at my prenatal visits. Baby #3 was 7 pounds 2 ounces, and I imagined this baby would be somewhere near that.

NO, AGAIN.

Just before 10AM, I gave birth to an 8 pound 10 ounce baby boy..naturally. I thought I was going to pass out at the end, but thankfully he came out quickly. I didn’t even have energy to hold him because I was so tired. And I couldn’t even think about enjoying the sight of him when they told me how much he weighed! He was perfect, though, and I was so happy to finally see him!

So, this brings us to the present. Here I am, six weeks post partum…and I feel like I’m losing my mind most days. I have another blog, where I shared about my pregnancy, my funny moments as a mom, recipes I’d discovered, and deals on groceries and other things. It felt pretty superficial, that other blog. I still have it because I enjoy writing about those things, but I feel like a different person since I created that blog. I was so on top of my game, with a spotless house, a daily plan for chores and meals and errands, and plans for homeschooling in the Fall.

I realize it’s only been six weeks, so perhaps I’m expecting too much of myself too soon. I just want to be back in our routine and feel like I’ve got it all under control.

Kids are like wild animals…they can smell fear, and they prey on it. When I’m off my game, my girls totally know it and everything goes to crap. They push my buttons and work together to create a royal mess of a day.

I hope to use this blog as a way of getting out my frustration, sharing my joy, expressing my confusion, and exposing my failures. I am in NEED of this blog right now. Being home with a newborn and three girls, aged 2 to 5, can be overwhelming. Correction: It IS overwhelming. I am isolated from other adults most days. There is no encouragement from another mother most of the time; there is only the demand for more from this mom who feels like a lot of the time there is no more to give.

I am exhausted. I am unhappy with my weight and dying to get back into my “normal” clothes. I would give my arm for a 30 minute nap. I don’t want to think about making dinner. And if I hear another child with a stuffy nose (we currently have 3 of them with runny/stuffy noses), I will most likely claw my ear drum out.

Hope you enjoy my posts!